This is Hard

I don’t have an in-depth RIE in Real Life story this week because, despite my best intentions, I still really do write these things on Fridays…and I’ve been sick for the past two days (not that the cats minded), so I wasn’t feeling up to it. (I AM feeling much better, but not yet 100%.) So, I decided to practice what I preach and give myself some actual self-care.

Which is all well and good, but I also want to say that I KNOW that you can’t always do that. You’re parents! Being a parent is hard. Really and truly, ridiculously, stupidly HARD. Nothing prepares you for parenting, and no one talks about it. Well, WE talk about it (And Jen Brister talks about it (warning: video is NSFW (language)). And while I would never write in detail about things that parents discuss in class (unless we talk about ahead of time), I have to say that the strength and supportiveness that flowed through several of my classes this week was palpable. We talked about the nitty gritty of parenting: sleep (rather, the lack thereof), sickness, support, chores and worries about development and growth. And we talked about how while RIE is so meaningful and illuminating it is also confounding to explain. You want to slow down when the world at large, and even our closest friends and family, want you to hurry up and make your child listen, share, and omg, stop crying! (Which, to be fair, we do, too…we’re just going about it slightly differently…)

And, well, talking about it helps…it makes us all feel seen, even if we don’t come to any grand conclusions or decisions or even if we only reaffirm what we already know. It helps just feeling felt. (Please remember I’m always here to talk).

With care,


Before I sign off, the last thing I’ll talk about is the last thing I want to talk about:

My heart is breaking for the Jewish families in my community. No, for Jewish families, period. The shootings in LA this week are traumatizing. I’ve written before about how to talk to your children when the news is scary, a couple of times actually. And my heart is breaking that I need to link to those pieces again this week. I don’t often go dark here, but the world can be a dark place. That said, when you meet the darkness with honesty and clarity, you and your child find the light. And maybe even grow.

I’m sorry I didn’t reach out to share this information and my sorrow earlier just this month during the shootings at the Lunar New Year. I wanted to avoid talking about something so sad and shocking. But talking about it always helps, even if it also hurts.

Wishing you all a peaceful shabbat tonight and sabbath this weekend.