I’ve been thinking a lot lately about those everyday moments with babies – you know, the diaper changes, the feedings, the endless outfit changes. There’s this wonderful quote from Emmi Pikler that keeps coming back to me: “The greatest attention each child receives is during the time he is being dressed, fed, and cleaned, especially in early infancy.”
When you think about it, these ‘routine’ moments are actually anything but routine, just as children’s play and exploration is anything but routine! Caregiving moments are golden opportunities for connection, and I learned this in such a beautiful way through the work of Magda Gerber, Emmi Pikler’s colleague and friend.
From my earliest RIE trainings, I learned that caregiving truly is the curriculum for young children. Diaper changes, runny noses, wardrobe changes…feeding, bathing, putting shoes on, taking shoes off…the list goes on. There’s so much physical care young children need – and if you can reframe these moments not as tasks to move through, but as opportunities to teach…to educate…to educate through care…Educare… perhaps you see where I’m going.
I witnessed something beautiful this week that perfectly illustrated this principle. During my toddler class, a 2+ year old needed a fresh diaper after a bowel movement. His mother told him it was time and he playfully said “noooooo!” and ran out the door to the yard, glancing over his shoulder to be sure she was watching. Instead of starting the familiar chase-and-negotiate dance, she calmly called out that she’d get the diaper table ready. While he ran to the farthest corner of the yard, she prepared thoughtfully – getting out a diaper, readying wipes, and – most importantly – pulling a poof up to the diaper table.
This poof had become special to him. In the past month, his big sister had visited class and shown him how to climb up on it to reach the table and survey the room. He’d been practicing this skill for weeks, gradually becoming more confident as he hoisted himself up and slowly lowered himself back down.
When he came back inside, his eyes lit up at the sight of the poof. He made a beeline for it, climbing quickly up onto the table. And then came the magic – his mother peacefully changed his poopy diaper while he stood (yes, she changed a poopy diaper with him standing up 👏👏👏). They chatted together throughout, his voice joining the gentle hum of the classroom. When they finished, she stepped away to clean up, and he climbed down a few minutes later, confident and content.
Instead of the typical ‘chase and negotiate’ that often happens with toddlers, his mother had created an environment that invited his participation and honored his growing independence. She made him an active participant in his care – embodying two core RIE principles in one beautiful moment.
The impact of this moment rippled through my week. The very next day, I spoke with a mother who wasn’t sure about doing stand-up diaper changes, even though she had the special table at home. Because I’d captured the second diaper change on video (with permission, of course), I could show her exactly how it might work. In another class, parents and I discussed ways to engage children meaningfully during diaper changes – opening their own onesies, choosing diapers, helping to wipe. Children want to be involved in their care, and these moments offer perfect opportunities for growing independence.
During care moments, we have something rare in our busy world: uninterrupted, one-on-one time. No phones, no distractions, just pure connection. It’s when babies learn about turn-taking, experience gentle touch, and develop trust that their needs will be met with respect and attention.
What I love most about this approach is how it takes the pressure off. We don’t need elaborate activities or expensive toys. The real magic happens in these simple, everyday moments of care.
Next time you’re changing a diaper or helping a little one get dressed, try slowing down just a bit. Make eye contact, narrate what you’re doing, wait for those little responses. You might be surprised at how these ordinary moments can become extraordinary connections.I’ve been thinking a lot lately about those everyday moments with babies – you know, the diaper changes, the feedings, the endless outfit changes. There’s this wonderful quote from Emmi Pikler that keeps coming back to me: “The greatest attention each child receives is during the time he is being dressed, fed, and cleaned, especially in early infancy.”
When you think about it, these ‘routine’ moments are actually anything but routine, just as children’s play and exploration is anything but routine! Caregiving moments are golden opportunities for connection, and I learned this in such a beautiful way through the work of Magda Gerber, Emmi Pikler’s colleague and friend.
From my earliest RIE trainings, I learned that caregiving truly is the curriculum for young children. Diaper changes, runny noses, wardrobe changes…feeding, bathing, putting shoes on, taking shoes off…the list goes on. There’s so much physical care young children need – and if you can reframe these moments not as tasks to move through, but as opportunities to teach…to educate…to educate through care…Educare… perhaps you see where I’m going.
I witnessed something beautiful this week that perfectly illustrated this principle. During my toddler class, a 2+ year old needed a fresh diaper after a bowel movement. His mother told him it was time and he playfully said “noooooo!” and ran out the door to the yard, glancing over his shoulder to be sure she was watching. Instead of starting the familiar chase-and-negotiate dance, she calmly called out that she’d get the diaper table ready. While he ran to the farthest corner of the yard, she prepared thoughtfully – getting out a diaper, readying wipes, and – most importantly – pulling a poof up to the diaper table.
This poof had become special to him. In the past month, his big sister had visited class and shown him how to climb up on it to reach the table and survey the room. He’d been practicing this skill for weeks, gradually becoming more confident as he hoisted himself up and slowly lowered himself back down.
When he came back inside, his eyes lit up at the sight of the poof. He made a beeline for it, climbing quickly up onto the table. And then came the magic – his mother peacefully changed his poopy diaper while he stood (yes, she changed a poopy diaper with him standing up – can we give her some major props?!). They chatted together throughout, his voice joining the gentle hum of the classroom. When they finished, she stepped away to clean up, and he climbed down a few minutes later, confident and content.
Instead of the typical ‘chase and negotiate’ that often happens with toddlers, his mother had created an environment that invited his participation and honored his growing independence. She made him an active participant in his care – embodying two core RIE principles in one beautiful moment.
The impact of this moment rippled through my week. The very next day, I spoke with a mother who wasn’t sure about doing stand-up diaper changes, even though she had the special table at home. Because I’d captured the second diaper change on video (with permission, of course), I could show her exactly how it might work. In another class, parents and I discussed ways to engage children meaningfully during diaper changes – opening their own onesies, choosing diapers, helping to wipe. Children want to be involved in their care, and these moments offer perfect opportunities for growing independence.
During care moments, we have something rare in our busy world: uninterrupted, one-on-one time. No phones, no distractions, just pure connection. It’s when babies learn about turn-taking, experience gentle touch, and develop trust that their needs will be met with respect and attention.
What I love most about this approach is how it takes the pressure off. We don’t need elaborate activities or expensive toys. The real magic happens in these simple, everyday moments of care.
Next time you’re changing a diaper or helping a little one get dressed, try slowing down just a bit. Make eye contact, narrate what you’re doing, wait for those little responses. You might be surprised at how these ordinary moments can become extraordinary connections.