Wow, it feels like Spring is already here, doesn’t it? And with the clocks turning back tomorrow, it’s going to feel EVEN more like Spring with the lingering light in the evenings! (Speaking of, remember to treat yourself and your children lightly in the coming days…the world ‘loses’ an hour, but our bodies take some time to catch up…and we can all be a little testy during times of change.)
I was recently inspired by just the title of this fabulous post by Heather Malley (director of the fabulous Caterpillar Cottage here in the Valley)….Filling Your Child’s Connection Cup & Why it Matters. Heather mentioned she wanted to write about this very important topic a little while ago and I knew I wanted to read it because filling your child’s connection cup is a big part of what we do in RIE classes.
I’ve actually had my own connection cup filled regularly for the past 7 weeks…my husband and I are (hopefully) near the end of a complete renovation of our ONLY bathroom. It’s been 7 weeks of an outdoor toilet, an outdoor shower, and of regular trips to the laundromat. It’s absolutely going to be worth it when it is done, but for now it has been…challenging, but there have been bright spots, from the regular fresh air we get to the jokes and chats we share with the contractors and even to the fact that our sensitive cats have become desensitized to loud noises…among these spots of brightness, there’s been one completely unexpected source of joy…the local laundromat.
When we first started our weekly laundry excursions, we came prepared with all the “productivity tools”: laptops, notebooks, books, and to-do lists. We had grand plans to maximize this “downtime” while our clothes tumbled dry. But something unexpected happened instead.
Rather than diving into our devices, we found ourselves wandering outside for walks around the neighborhood. Sometimes, we’d simply stand in the parking lot watching the world go by—cars passing, people walking their dogs, clouds shifting overhead. No agenda. No goals. Just being present together.
These moments have become precious to us, especially considering our current living situation with a houseful of people and our own demanding work schedules. Often, we realize we’ve gone an entire day without truly connecting, despite being under the same roof. These weekly laundromat trips have become our unexpected sanctuary of connection.
This experience reminds me of what we practice in our RIE Parent-Infant Guidance classes. There’s something profoundly valuable about creating space where connection is the only goal. No teaching moments to seize, no developmental milestones to track, no activities to complete—just being fully present with another person.
It’s what keeps families coming back to class week after week. In a world where even parent-child interactions often become task-oriented or achievement-focused, simply sitting together observing, responding, and connecting provides a rare and nourishing experience.
Heather’s article about “special time” resonates deeply with this idea. While my laundromat discovery happened by chance, we can intentionally create these connection opportunities, especially with children.
What makes this time special isn’t elaborate activities or expensive outings—it’s your full presence and willingness to enter their world without an agenda. It’s about turning off your phone, setting aside your mental to-do list, and simply being with them.
Finding Your Laundromat Moments
I invite you to consider where you might find or create these agenda-less connection opportunities in your own life:
- Are the unexpected pockets of time in your day that could become connection moments?
- How might you turn routine tasks into opportunities for togetherness?
- What would it look like to set aside even 15 minutes for completely child-led interaction this week?
Sometimes the most meaningful connections happen when we let go of our plans and simply show up fully for each other. Whether it’s in a laundromat parking lot or on your living room floor during “special time,” these moments remind us what truly matters in our relationships.
Bonus…This article has been an open tab on my cluttered desktop for a couple of days and it keeps reminding me to fill MY cup…of water(!), and more importantly, of self care.
