Hello my dear RIE community,
I’m writing to be sure you all are safe. Things got really scary, really quickly, didn’t they? I’m safe: nothing more than a tree branch down in the backyard:
The air quality doesn’t even seem to be too bad where we are, despite the nearby fires…scratch that…in the last half-hour, the winds have died down (good) and it’s getting smokier. But still: I’m safe. I know there are families on this list who’ve had to evacuate, or who’s school was closed today, or who know people who have lost their homes. And the skies are ominous and the air smells funny, and you may have ash. It’s an unsettling and nerve-wracking thing. You may be wondering how to talk to your children about the fires. Here are some thoughts (pulled from this excellent article).
Use age-appropriate language to explain the situation:
- “There’s smoke in the air today, so we’re going to stay inside to keep our bodies healthy.”
- “The wind is very strong today, so we’re going to stay inside where it’s cozy.”
- “Some families need to stay in a different house for a little while.”
Acknowledging and validating children’s emotions:
- “I see you’re feeling frustrated that we can’t go to the park”
- “It’s okay to feel scared when things are different”
- “I know you miss playing outside. I miss it too”
Maintaining routines as much as possible:
- Keeping meals and nap times consistent and predictable
- Consider some indoor big motor play like making an obstacle course, dancing, rolling balls, etc.
Be prepared for children to process through play
- They may pretend to be firefighters or drive firetrucks
- You might use a stuffed animal or a puppet to act out helpers
- You could both draw a storybook about the situation
Finding ways to focus on the helpers in our community
- “Look at those brave firefighters in their big red trucks”
- “The doctors are helping people stay healthy from the smoke”
- “Our neighbors are sharing their homes with friends”
- “Teachers are making sure all the children are safe”
- “The weather scientists are helping us know what’s happening with the wind”
Throughout these conversations, remember to keep your voice calm and steady while being honest yet careful with details. Your child will guide you – some may want to talk at length about what’s happening, while others may briefly check in and then move on to other activities. Both responses are perfectly normal. During this time, children may need extra physical connection and reassurance, whether through hugs, sitting close together, or simply holding hands. Most importantly, try to maintain your own sense of calm when with your child, as they’re constantly tuning into and learning from your responses to the situation.
Sending you all peace and care. Please let me know if there’s anything I can do to support you.
Stay safe.
PS…
And in Spanish… https://extensiondisaster.net/resource-dashboard/helping-young-children-cope-follow-a-disaster/
And another excellent resource: https://fitandhealthykids.unl.edu/wildfire/