Yesterday (a Saturday), I was our running some errands and got to the intersection of Burbank and Balboa when it hit me: I used to always turn up that street on Saturday mornings, car full of equipment, heading to teach one of my RIE in the Wild classes. This was back in 2021-2022. I was teaching classes in parks all over the San Fernando Valley (and sometimes as far as Beverly Hills and Griffith Park), and I had one particular group of families with babies born within a month of one another, who started with me toward the beginning…when I was still navigating the landscape…literally!! They met me in several different locations…some far too wide open, others far too boxed in by soccer players and birthday parties…until we found that sweet spot on Balboa.
That time was really precious to me. I’m so grateful to all the families who went on that journey with me, who showed up week after week no matter how hot it was, how cold it was, how rainy it was. You gathered with commitment and trust to create something special together. Now I teach from my home in Tarzana, but those years of RIE in the Wild hold a particular place in my heart. The connections formed during that time have proven to be lasting and deep—as this reflection from one of those families shows.
Marika, who shares her reflection below, was thinking about this for a while, but particularly inspired by my gratitude newsletter…I love her 6 words: Edith living life with RIE in her back pocket.
Enjoy…
My daughter Edith started Elementary school this fall, and in leading up to the start there were a lot of feelings. Excitement, anxiety, happiness….a whole rainbow of thoughts and questions. One of the most frequent questions were about friends. Will there be friends? I promised that there would be friends, with the caveat that if we didn’t recognize any of the names on the class roster, we would set up playdates and make friends before the first day.
Edith was born 3 months before the world shut down, and of course at that time, we didn’t know much of anything. We didn’t know what Covid really was, if there was a cure, or how we should stay safe, which added to the already worry filled experience of being a first-time mom. Somehow I started reading books about RIE and found Melani; we worked together to set up a RIE IN THE WILD class that would take place every Saturday morning in the park. I reached out to a small group of like-minded moms from my Mommy & Me class, and Melani took it upon herself to fill up a couple of wagons with climbing structures and various open-ended toys and drag them to the grassy area we had claimed as our own.
It’s hard to put into words how meaningful it was to have a place to just be together, watch our kids develop and work things out on their own, and together, in the midst of what was happening in the world. Every Saturday, with Melani’s guidance, we all – both kids and grownups – learned to slow down. To let things be. To let go of trying to control our kids as well as the world around us. The Pandemic was tough, but having this RIE group gave me a sense or normalcy, connection, and peace, not just around being a mother, but as a human being in the world. The most fun was always when there was a “disagreement” – when two kids wanted the same toy or when one kid commanded the wooden boat and allowed no fellow travelers. We all leaned in. Laughed awkwardly if our child took someone’s toy, nodding apologetically to a fellow mom whose child had lost theirs. It bonded us for life.
So when we got word that Amelia from our RIE group was to be in Edith’s Kindergarten, our whole family had a collective sigh of relief. Amelia’s parents are wonderful! We had not stayed closely in touch with them, but we all started our lives as parents together, and we know their values as a family are similar to our values. Edith didn’t remember Amelia specifically but I could tell that hearing “you were in RIE together” made her relaxed. We found photos of the girls at RIE class, and even had a playdate before school started which was truly wonderful. They found each other again and they haven’t stopped. Amelia has become Edith’s anchor, and not in a co-dependent way, but rather, Edith is immediately regulated around Amelia. Edith and Amelia are at Carpenter which is a big school of 900+ students so having a friend with history helps a lot.
This holiday season I’m grateful to Melani and to RIE <3
Photos then and now.
