It all started with a bag of goldfish crackers.
There’s one toddler who comes to my midweek class who has a ritual of needing snacks shortly after he arrives, before I start serving bananas. I’ve tried starting to serve bananas earlier, but bananas aren’t what he wants. He’s very sure that he wants some of the snacks his mom has prepared for their long drive home after class. Since his mom is very thorough and prepared, she always has plenty of snacks, so we’ve gotten into the habit of having a little mini snack break during the first part of class each week.
On this particular day, this child—let’s call him Charles—had a bag of goldfish crackers. Now I haven’t had a goldfish cracker in decades, but they are apparently very aptly named because they are literally worth gold to toddlers.
Another toddler, ‘Ernest,’ was very interested in these golden fish. He approached and asked—mostly with his eyes, but also gesturing with his hands. Charles said no, he didn’t want to share and cuddled into his mother’s arms. His mother spoke for him: “I’m sorry, Ernest. Charles does not want to share his goldfish crackers.”
Undeterred, Ernest stayed and watched, holding his hand out again. Again, his mother said, “Charles, I think Ernest would like a goldfish.” Charles shook his head. But then he pulled a goldfish cracker out and put it into his mother’s hand. His mother asked, “Oh, may I give this to Ernest?” Charles said yes, and Ernest very happily accepted.
Then from across the way, ‘Ella’ noticed that these golden fish were being shared, so she came over and asked. Again, Charles said no, but offered a goldfish to his mother to give to Ella. And so it went—Charles doled out goldfish to his mother to distribute to the other toddlers, and then he even allowed Ernest to take goldfish directly from the bag.
It was such a beautiful moment, realizing that if we give children time and don’t expect them to be perfect right away, they can naturally share on their own. A testament, and a reminder, to slow down. It can take time…as beautifully illustrated in this story from a couple of years ago.
So that’s where I expected to end this story…but I procrastinated and something even more interesting happened the following week!
Stay tuned for that saga next! :D
And last, but certainly not least, to hear me talk more about sharing and all things RIE, I invite you to check out the very excellent podcast, “Your Child is Normal.” A few weeks ago, I sat down with local pediatrician and podcaster, Dr. Jessica Hochman and gave her a quick overview of RIE. Check it out and let me know what you think!